It has been a very uneasy night. Last night in the middle of the night 3:00am I got up and was in the bathroom trying to clear some of the crap out of my throat. This is a pretty constant thing for me right now. I don’t produce enough saliva to swallow any gunk I happen to cough up and my mouth is so dry in fact that it is hard to move any phlegm from the back of my throat to the front.
At any rate this time I was making some progress. Wetting my mouth with little sips of water and then coughing a bit and gargling a bit and getting some of the gunk out. Then one of the bits looked like it had blood in it. I can’t be sure cause when I spit it out it rinsed down the drain in the sink pretty quickly, but I think there was blood in it. Perhaps this is all too much information but several other bits of crap I got out showed no signs of anything like this.
I have had no sign of any blood in anything I’ve spit up since a day or two after the surgery. That was on Jan 3 so we are now looking at about 3 weeks with no sign of blood in anything I have coughed up. Of course just before the major bleed that led to my last surgery. The day before and that night I had noticed some blood in the phlegm.
So now I sit here at six in the morning. I’m afraid to go to sleep and afraid that the repairs might have started to give away again. I’m trying to stay calm and believe it is just a tiny anomaly, but I had been doing well from Nov 23 till Jan 1 last time so I’m nervous and not a little bit scared that this might be repeating itself. If it is the chances of me surviving it are pretty slim.
Oh well in the meantime it’s been 3 hours since that little disturbing glimpse of red and nothing else has happened except to rob me of a night’s sleep.
I hope to continue this story later today and tomorrow and for a considerable time into the future. So I’m just staying calm and quiet and hoping.